it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
