No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
