So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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