I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
sex in a hospital.. check
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
