I murdered the dance floor call the cops
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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