we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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