How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
