Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
