Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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