My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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