Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
