AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
