singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
