Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
