The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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