You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
