Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
