she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
