I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
