We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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