The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
