I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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