I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
