We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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