It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
