Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
