"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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