If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
