Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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