I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
