there were more penises there than on chat roulette
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
