How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize