He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
