Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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