9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
