Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
