is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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