foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I currently don't understand fingers.
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