he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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