I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
