We named our party play list daddy issues
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
