I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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