I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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