he thought i was a dude.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
