He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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