Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There r osticjed everywhere
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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