I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
