that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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