you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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