why didn't you poke me back
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
