from now on my penis is your penis
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
